Sunday, December 27, 2009

New Years Resolution: start selling weapons

Following a great deal of research, I have concluded that the key to making good money in this world lies in the manufacture and distribution of firearms.
I don't consider myself a violent individual, however, according to the Beatles, "Happiness is a warm Gun." How can you argue with the Beatles?
So here's my "Revolver": Smith and Wesson, 38 Special, made entirely from chopped coins and epoxy.
Turning money into art is cool enough, but turning it into weapons is even cooler.
When holding this art one feels powerful, safe, strong.
The simple beauty of the firearm cannot be ignored.
It is my intention to make an eventual arsenal.
Private collectors are the target.

One cannot fully appreciate this artwork without holding it and feeling it.

Ready, Aim....

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

3rd card revealed/Maxwell's Silver i-Hammer

On the workbench: A few Things.
Card number 3 is the 4 of Diamonds.
Shown here in Progress, in reverse. Certain details are lost forever...
But all is not lost. In my attempt to document all items ever known to mankind, I have made progress on two specimens.
One is a tool for building, an embodiment of manual labor.
The other delivers music electrically,
And was engineered by a team of hundreds.
Both produce rhythm. It's a start....

Friday, November 27, 2009

callling all consumers: Give 'em Artwork.

It goes without saying but I'll mention it regardless: Christmas is coming, which means that whether you like it or not, you've gotta buy some stuff.
In the wake of a crumbling economy, it can be difficult to choose what to purchase for this great annual hand-off, but if you're reading this, you've already discovered the perfect solution: you will buy art from me.
This is a basic no-brainer. Everyone likes art. Just get some. You can't lose.
What else could you give that not only has a great potential to increase in value, but is also freeking cool?
Nothing. That's what.
Contact me soon if you're interested, only a limited number of things are available, prices range from very low to extremely high. How much do you love them? They deserve this from you.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Mission for Humanity: the Genome of Stuff

Humans are pretty cool, and have invented lots of things. Some of the best inventions are the most mundane. Last week I found myself searching my room for a fingernail clipper, but discovered it had disappeared within massive amounts of other stuff. When it finally again emerged, I had a moment of inspiration.
Such a simple device, yet so important. Designed by a forgotten genius, turned into a commodity, distributed globally, this little tool makes quick work of a weekly inevitability.
Making the fingernail clipper from chopped coins immortalizes it for the archaeologists of the future. I do this that they may come closer to understanding the quirks of our crazy culture. Thanks to Epoxy, it should last forever. This will be the first of many such items, which I will produce and sell on Ebay. This method of distribution ensures a widespread placement of these objects, making it more likely that various future excavations will yield evidence of these oddities. I imagine that they'll assume these were amulets for warding off evil spirits, or possibly devotional objects, commissioned as offerings to Ancient Gods. Whatever they decide, I'm glad to provide another piece of our puzzle, confusing as it may be.
My plan is, eventually, to document all Things ever created by Man within the framework of Capitalism. It is an ambitious project, and will likely take the rest of my lifetime. I will call this mission "the Genome of Stuff". Why? Why not.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Second Card Revealed

It's:
"the Nine of Hearts"
Congratulations to the lucky winner, your future will be bright!
The final bid was approximately twice that of the first auction.
With any luck, a bar has been set for the rest of the sales.
The 3rd Card is up for auction now.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

"What if?" / fueling the speculation....

Here's a theoretical news story from the future. Click to enlarge, and use your browser's zoom feature to make it even bigger.
With any justice, it might not be far-fetched... help make it happen... visit the Ebay Auction

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Lucky Charms: 2nd public offering

A few months ago, I began turning pocket change into Gemstones.
The gesture was hugely symbolic, a literal transmutation of a low-value financial substance into one of tremendous worth.
Last week, a poker-playing friend bought this gemstone from me to use as a "card cap" at an upcoming tournament. Apparently in poker, this is something you set on your hand to prevent anyone else from accidentally disturbing your cards.
Well, it worked. He won the tournament.
Luck + Skill + Awesome Art = Big Win
To celebrate, I'm offering 50 more "dime-onds" to the public, for $100 each. If you're interested in owning one, please let me know. I can accept payment via credit card, and each will come with a signed certificate of authenticity. Invest in my rise to notoriety, and invest in your future.

Click to complete transaction $5 for shipping will be added automatically


Thursday, November 12, 2009

the ghost of future artwork: Keeping the Crumbs

1 year of chopping up coins to make artwork has left me with a great deal of tiny metal scraps.
I haven't thrown away a single particle, and all along I've had a plan for the final tiny remains.
From disintegrated currency I will create biological life. Nature itself will become intertwined within the vast web of economics we've spun...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

the Card Trick/playing art dealer for a year

Choosing not to ignore the urge to be an artist is a gamble.
Life is risky enough when you play by the rules, and being an artist breaks them all.
In order to stack the cards, an artist must become a Jack of many trades.
Life deals a certain amount of opportunities itself, the rest is up to you.Making art, like gambling, is addictive.
Unlike gambling, however, there is no "helpline" for those addicted to making art.
Winning the game of art takes skill as well as luck.
I want to win. My newest project spans an entire year.
52 cards, 52 weeks, 52 auctions on Ebay. Each auction starts on Tuesday at noon Eastern.
As publicity builds, my theory is that the prices will rise. There will be no reserve price for any, and the bidding starts at 99 cents.
Aside from the first auction, the face of the card will not be revealed until the bidding has ended.
Each card is mounted in a sealed glass display unit, and will come with a signed certificate of authenticity. Each is handmade by Ted, from chopped American coins and epoxy.

The first card will be revealed in advance: The Ace of Spades.
>>>go to auction<<<

The ongoing progress will be documented on my new Blog. Tune in weekly for updates and images.